I AM GOING TO JUMP KICK YOUR FACE
AND THEN KISS IT
I am going to jump kick your face and
then kiss it.
I have been practicing my jump kicks
every day
I have been practicing my jump kicks
at least three or four times a day.
That means I have performed more jump
kicks than the average human.
That means when I jump kick your face
you will notice the power.
That means when I jump kick your face,
it will mean more than if someone else did it.
After I jump kick your face I will
kiss it.
There will be many kisses—
an amount
that eventually becomes annoying and vaguely frightening.
They will seem mad.
I will kiss your face
repeatedly.
Mainly in the cheek area.
But sometimes on the nose and sometimes
on the forehead.
And sometimes my mouth will be
open.
Sometimes my front teeth will touch your skin but it will be
accidental.
And I promise to open my eyes to assure you if that happens.
When you feel teeth and then open your
eyes, mine will already be open.
But I will not stop kissing your face.
The pleas to stop will not be obeyed.
The next day you will wake up with
your face against the pillow, your jump kicked and violently kissed face.
It will hurt.
You will touch it and feel how it
hurts.
I am practicing my jump kicks; my
kisses are already pretty good.
You will get one of the former and
many of the latter.
You mean nothing and you are nobody.
You are a crumb in my
bellybutton.
MANNEQUINS THAT SWEAT BLACK INK AND
NEVER HAVE ANY FUN
I hunt butterflies with a miniature
bow made of twigs and arrows fashioned from the creases in your face that
represent every frown you've made.
I wish I were your made-up image
because then you'd love me and never let me go.
I am in a retirement home and I am
sleeping underneath the bed of an old man who doesn't know who he is anymore
and who thinks his family has disappeared.
I keep saying "Tick tock tick
tock, nobody loves you and I won't hold your hand when you die."
If you put a twizzler in your ear it
looks like your ear is vomiting blood.
If I ever have kids it will be a
mistake and I will apologize to the largest number of people willing to listen.
Lie down it is time for me to walk
over you and call you a bridge I no longer need.
I love everyone who reads this.
APARTMENT
Every time I come home I stand in the
doorway and say, "It's time for a monster to eat me now." Then
it does.
When I go to bed and pull the covers open, I say, "It's time for
a monster to eat me now." Then it does.
Every time I get out of bed
I say, "It's time for a monster to eat me now." Then it
does.
Every time I leave my home, I say, "It's time for a monster to eat
me now." Then it does.
